I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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Quotes by Ron White
Explore 25 verified and sourced quotes attributed to Ron White. Open any quote for its dedicated page, source details and related topics.
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Selected quotes by Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
You can't fix stupid.
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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