Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Love

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Education

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Not much was really invented during the Renaissance, if you don't count modern civilization.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Success

Never fight an inanimate object.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but actually hate the job they do.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Success

There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a certain point, complexity is fraud. You can apply that rule to left-wing social programs, but you can also apply that rule to credit derivatives, hedge funds, all the rest of it.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Life

The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Education

The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Life

The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas - fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to pursue our own self-interest; specialization, which he called division of labor; and freedom of trade.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Freedom

Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Love

The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These places used to have impoverished neighborhoods nearby, but the poor people got chased out by young singles living in group homes, hipsters, and urban homesteading gay couples.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Life

I am unboreable in the great outdoors.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Any terrorism is an attack on libertarian values.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, 'But doesn't it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn't it be set in New Guinea?' And you say, 'But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.'

— P. J. O'Rourke

Love

The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Education

The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom

Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom