Quotes by Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

— Larry David

Wisdom

I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.

— Larry David

Wisdom

I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.

— Larry David

Wisdom

Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!

— Larry David

Wisdom

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.

— Larry David

Happiness

The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch.

— Larry David

Wisdom

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.

— Larry David

Wisdom

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

— Larry David

Wisdom

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

— Larry David

Wisdom

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.

— Larry David

Life

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

— Larry David

Success

I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.

— Larry David

Wisdom

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.

— Larry David

Wisdom

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.

— Larry David

Wisdom

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.

— Larry David

Wisdom

It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.

— Larry David

Life

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.

— Larry David

Wisdom

I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure.

— Larry David

Love

I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.

— Larry David

Wisdom

I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.

— Larry David

Wisdom

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

— Larry David

Hope

I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.

— Larry David

Wisdom

Women love a self-confident bald man.

— Larry David

Love

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.

— Larry David

Wisdom