Quotes by George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

— George Burns

Happiness

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

— George Burns

Wisdom

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

— George Burns

Wisdom

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

— George Burns

Wisdom

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

— George Burns

Happiness

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

— George Burns

Wisdom

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

— George Burns

Hope

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

— George Burns

Love

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

— George Burns

Wisdom

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

— George Burns

Wisdom

At my age flowers scare me.

— George Burns

Wisdom

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

— George Burns

Love

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

— George Burns

Truth

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

— George Burns

Education

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

— George Burns

Wisdom

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

— George Burns

Truth

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

— George Burns

Wisdom