Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Explore 45 verified and sourced quotes attributed to Ambrose Bierce. Open any quote for its dedicated page, source details and related topics.
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Selected quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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